Serving couples and individuals in Roseville, Shoreview, Lauderdale, Saint Paul, Falcon Heights, New Brighton, Little Canada, Arden Hills, and anywhere in the Twin Cities

Myth: Marriage Counseling is Just Endless Talking

One of the most common relationship problems is when each person talks and the other doesn't listen. Sometimes one person monologues to the other and then gets upset when they don't feel heard. The quieter person may finally get the nerve to share what is going in and the words get sliced and diced until the quiet person retreats back to the mode of listening to monologues.

How marriage counseling is more than talking

We aren't exactly going to be bungee jumping in sessions, but in therapy we will move beyond the "talker" and "annoyed listener." The Hollywood movie image of therapy is actually an example of really bad, really ineffective therapy.

As you've probably already experienced, words mean nothing if you don't feel heard, usually because the other person is too defensive to listen. My job as your counselor is to help you unpack why you're both feeling defensive, and get to the emotions underneath the surface content of what you're each saying. Couples often say, "we fight over the dumbest things;" to that I say that the fight probably isn't really about the dumb thing at all, it's about the emotions behind it. By helping you both learn to better speak to and hear the underlying "emotional conversation", I help you defuse many fights and arguments before they even begin.

Related Myths:

Counseling is all work and no fun

Therapy gives you fancier ways of nagging

Counseling is anti-male